Well everyone has been asking about photo's and everything... really, I would love to see photo's from my wedding too. The only ones I've seen were the one's on Mitz's blog. We have no pictures from the wedding yet. No video either. We got the audio... my dad sent us that before they went to China. Other than that, we got nothing. Sorry. Will post some when I have some.
It's strange still to think of myself as a married woman... when does that actually sink in, by the way? When do you actually feel like a wife? It's still a very hard concept to grasp... hasn't quite hit home. Can't imagine what'll happen when it does. Eeep. LOL Anyhow.... so now I'm this married woman, and somehow I feel like that should have instantly made me more mature or something. More wise and all that jazz. I thought, somewhere in my little brain, that something would change, like that, and I'd have more things figured out. But nope, it's just me. Same old me from a month before... from a year before... who's mulling over things like a cow works on it's cud... over and over and over... munch munch munch.
Ryan and I are trying to figure out what we're supposed to be doing in our life. My mom asks me every time I hear from her almost, about whether I'm thinking about it and praying about it. Am I going to go back to school? Are we going to move somewhere else? etc... Now, is it always so hard to hear what you're supposed to do, or do I just have too much wax in my ears?? (metaphorically of course) I've always had difficulty, no, scratch that, I've never really heard from God before, on my own... I guess I might have just got used to having so many people around that had the right frequency and could just pass on some news now and then, so I never really tried too hard to tune in myself. What is my ministry? What are my giftings? What is the best path for us to take?? I think that those questions are probably right up there in frequency as "Why me?" and "God are you there?" almost, in God's ears. I think everyone asks that at some point or anything, in some form or another. Everyone wonders if they're on the right path, and ponders their life choices and what they should do... especially at this time in their life. How do you get answers? You can't really just sit around and wait for someone to tell you what to do. It might never happen. But just charging off and doing whatever you feel like doing isn't usually the best answer either.
I guess I was really lucky concerning my marriage. Everything just worked out miraculously and we never felt any pressure, or doubt, or fear concerning it. (Beyond Ryan's fear of standing infront of lots of people and my fear that Ryan and Kat were going to get too stressed out) We had encouraging words spoken over us and the marriage continually, and it just felt right, for lack of a better way to describe it. Now if only everything worked out like that, 'cause now we're kinda lost.
So right now we're in limbo... I have a job interview on Monday to work for the summer at Custom House. Yes, that's where Kat works. Soon we're going to have the same rants and complaints, I'm sure. :) We'll be here, in the crowded little condo, for more than a year still... we're going to China to visit my family next year if everything works out. Not looking forward to the gruelling plane ride over there, but other than that it'll be great, as long as we avoid eating dog or cat.
This weekend, as a honeymoon clincher, as well as kinda a one month married thing, we're going over to Vancouver, staying at the Westin Grand on Robson St. and watching, with VIP tickets and seats, the new travelling show Varekai, by Cirque de Soleil. This will be my first time seeing them, and Ryans 5th show he's seen. After that it's budget living, working and dealing with reality. We'll be taking a trip up island to see everyone, and to show some Honeymoon pictures and hopefully video of French Polynesia sometime near the end of this month I think.
Anyhow, this is long, and I have things to do.... I love procrastinating and everything, and this is great for that, but life is calling.
4 comments:
We look forward to you coming up and sharing your pictures. I hope you had a wonderful honeymoon.
As to how long it takes for the "wife" thing to kick in, I think it varies with each person. I am sure it will kick in soon.
Sarah, I am looking forward to seeing all your pictures too. And I am sure that if God is talking to you about moving, he might be telling you to...hmmm...move up island here??? :) I would love to have all my children closer but I know now that you have to make those choices for you guys. We are praying for you both. As for the wife thing, once you are doing the dishes, cooking cleaning and all that stuff, you may suddenly start feeling like a wife although I am not sure that that is what a wife should be. That would also describe a maid so somewhere in there I think there should be some flowers, romantic beach walks, and all that lovely stuff as well. Hope you are enjoying married life and hope to see you soon. (jeesh I should have just e mailed you)
When do you feel like a wife? Goodness, sometimes I don't feel like I'm an adult. It feels strange calling myself a woman, because often times, I don't feel like I am one. But I'm sure it'll kick in soon. Although you guys were close for so long, the wedding happened pretty fast. Just give it time, and just enjoy it, don't think on it too much. :)
I'm sure eventually you'll know what to do. I don't have a clue, either, but I'm sure one day it will be clear. And even if it isn't, at least know that you've done the best you could.
Looking forward to the pictures!!
I still don't feel like a wife sometimes. What does a wife feel like anyway? I don't actually know. I remember when my cousin Becky got married and turned 24 and I thought, "wow, she's like a real grown up!". I am 24, married over a year, thinking of starting having kids of my own soon, and I still don't feel like a "real adult". I hate the term "woman" for that matter. Don't worry about where you're going and what you're doing, you'll be fine so long as you're actively looking for it, and not just letting life happen to you. As a wise woman I know said once, "The will of God is not a tightrope, it's a field."
Love you sis.
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